Phase 1 - Tension Building Stage:

During this phase of the cycle, tension builds. Stressors such as jobs, finances, children, and other areas of conflict increase the tension; there may be verbal, emotional, or physical abuse during this phase. Over time, abuse and battering escalate in frequency and severity. The woman attempts to control the abuse through various coping techniques such as avoidance, placating, or giving in. These stopgap measures do not work for long, if at all. Once tension reaches an unbearable level, the acute battering incident occurs.

Phase 2 - Acute Battering Incident:

An uncontrolled discharge of built-up tension, the battering incident occurs when the process has stopped responding to any control. Rarely is the trigger for moving into this phase the woman's behavior; rather, it is usually an external stressor (e.g. problems at work, a financial crisis, or even an incidental event such as a flat tire) or the internal state of the abuser. The battering that occurs is usually much more intense than anything in phase one, and the woman may be severely injured. Since the acute battering incident may be triggered by anything, prediction of its timing is impossible. Occasionally, a woman may unconsciously provoke the incident. She knows from experience that it is coming and wants to get it over with, and she knows that a calm or honeymoon phase will follow the abuse. There is no escape once the battering has begun; only the batterer can end the incident.

Phase 3 - Honeymoon Phase:

Realizing he has gone too far, the abuser typically exhibits loving, kind behavior while apologizing and promising that battering will never happen again. Both the abuser and the victim want to believe that the cycle will not be repeated. He believes that she has learned her "lesson", and she is pulled back into the relationship by his sincere apology and placating behavior, perhaps including a gift of flowers, weekend retreat, etc. Tension has been dissipated by the abuse, and both members are relieved. During this honeymoon phase, the couple becomes very close emotionally; the effect of the abuser's generosity, helpfulness, and genuine interest during this phase cannot be minimized. Ironically, it is during phase three that victimization becomes complete. The emotional, symbiotic bonding that occurs during this phase strengthens the commitment that each has to the relationship. The victim is finally experiencing the relationship in a positive way, thus it becomes increasingly difficult for her to leave it. After the victim has been through the cycle a number of times, her self-esteem begins to wither. She understands she is trading physical and psychological safety for brief periods of peace and happiness. The duration of each phase varies between and within couples. Slowly, the honeymoon phase fades and the couple moves once again into the tension-building phase. The cycle repeats.